About Me

My photo
My passion is helping others defend themselves and their families. I am an NRA Certified pistol instructor, a NRA Chief Range Safety Officer, leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - North Cincinnati, and the state leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - Ohio. I also have a heart for the Lakota people and lead mission teams to the Pine Ridge Reservation each year, am founder and director of Backpacks For Pine Ridge,, and do various volunteer work in my own community. My greatest joy is being a grandma and hanging out with my husband of 30+ years.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Dropping Out - Part 3

It's embarrassing to admit to how completely flaky I was in my early adulthood. The sad truth of the matter is though, that I was indeed flaky. That summer before heading off to a college in another state to pursue a degree in Social Work, I started dating "Johnny" (name changed to protect the indifferent). We dated all summer and as summer came to a close and the time came to go to school, we dreaded saying the inevitable "goodbye". Not believing we could survive without each other, he pulled some strings with the people he knew at Anderson University where he was attending and got me in at the very last minute. Again, it's embarrassing to admit that I changed all of my plans for college and changed schools just so I could be with "Johnny". But I did. And wouldn't you know it, the moment I set foot on Anderson University campus, I decided I didn't like "Johnny" any more. Brilliant. So here I was at a college I had not planned to attend, and no longer interested in the guy I came there for. Wonderful.

I did enjoy Anderson University though. Looking back, the year I spent there was one of the best years of my life. And I met my husband there.

I had to be on campus a week before classes started for orientation. I arrived and at my dorm room to move in and found a note taped to the door which read, "My name is Brian and I am your group leader. Please be in the cafeteria at 6PM for a orientation banquet. Our group will be seated at table #36".

That evening, dressed in my best dress, I was the first to arrive for the banquet. Not knowing what else to do, I found table #36 and had a seat. Moments later a friendly young man who reminded me of a energetic puppy approached me asking if I was in his group. I said, "I'm not sure, I don't know your name". He said his name was Brian to which I replied "Then, yes, I am in your group". He sat down and we chatted as the other's arrived.

Once the banquet got underway we stood to "sing" the blessing. Normally I am very polite and never insult anyone even if my life depends on it, but the sounds that came out of Brain were just .... well .... so horrible it was funny. (Think of some of the worst American Idol contestants and you get the picture.) I laughed. Uncontrollably. Brian looked perplexed and asked if I were laughing at his singing. I had to be honest and say "yes. I'm sorry. I can't help it." At another point during the meal I managed to tell Brain that he reminded me of someone I did not like.

Somehow, despite the events of that first meeting, Brain and I became good friends. In fact, he was my best friend. I was not, however, the least bit attracted to him romantically, so things got a bit awkward when he began asking me out. Brain "wasn't my type". He really wasn't. I had the worst taste in guys, always choosing guys who were emotionally unavailable, addicted, or worse. Brain was a good guy. For 3 months Brian didn't give up. To this day I have no idea what made me change my mind, but I did. About the time I convinced him that there was no hope in us ever being together and that he should stop asking, I changed my mind.

We dated the rest of the school year and dreaded to see summer come when he would head back to California and I would go back to Ohio. That summer was hard. Email and IM was not around back then and long distance phone calls were expensive. Snail mail was often S-L-O-W. The summer was made harder when I was unable to find work. I needed to work that summer in order to save up for college. But it was the early 80's and our economy was in a recession and there were simply no jobs to be found. Mid-summer I called Brian to tell him that I was still unable to find a job and that I just simply could not afford to continue college. I really thought it would be over. I mean, how in the world would we ever make it work living in two different states and rarely seeing each other? I fully expected that we would have to break up but I wasn't going to be the one to do it. I left the dirty work of ending our relationship to him. To my complete surprise, when I called to tell him the bad news, I was met with a prolonged silence, then he said, "Well, I graduate next June and my parents will be back in Indiana for that, sooo, that would be a good time for us to get married". We will celebrate 23 years together this June. :)

2 comments:

Perplexio said...

I like stories with happy endings like that. :-)

Hope said...

This was a good post to read today. Not sure about you but 23 years feels much better than the first 10.