About Me

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My passion is helping others defend themselves and their families. I am an NRA Certified pistol instructor, a NRA Chief Range Safety Officer, leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - North Cincinnati, and the state leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - Ohio. I also have a heart for the Lakota people and lead mission teams to the Pine Ridge Reservation each year, am founder and director of Backpacks For Pine Ridge,, and do various volunteer work in my own community. My greatest joy is being a grandma and hanging out with my husband of 30+ years.

Friday, March 03, 2006

What's Love Got To Do With It?

A lot of what passes for love, is really just plain old manipulation. The Bible is clear about what love is, and what it isn't.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Manipulaton seeks it's own way. It is a way of saying, "My wants are more important than yours, and in fact, they are more important than the relationship itself." No one who manipulates will admit to that, but their actions scream it. Love says, "I value you and will put aside my own desires to do what is best for you."

Love build up relationships. Manipulation tears them apart. One is self-centered. The other is relationship centered. Who wants to be in a relationship with a manipulative person? No one.

Sadly, the person manipulating others will rarely see this. They continue on in their pain, blaming the other (becuase they will not bend to the manipulation) wondering why the relationship doesn't work.

3 comments:

Perplexio said...

You're right about the Biblical definition of love, Kahlil Gibran extraploated quite nicely on the Biblical definition of love in his book The Prophet:

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Gary Means said...

And sadly, the person doing the manipulating is often an authority figure (parent, pastor, etc.). This can greatly complicate the view of God of the one being manipulated, especially if it happens to a child. It makes it hard to fully accept grace.

Bar Bar A said...

Amber, this is a very sad truth. I am clipping this post to my "save" file.

Also, thanks for dropping a prayer/praise for Carly...awesome news!