About Me

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My passion is helping others defend themselves and their families. I am an NRA Certified pistol instructor, a NRA Chief Range Safety Officer, leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - North Cincinnati, and the state leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - Ohio. I also have a heart for the Lakota people and lead mission teams to the Pine Ridge Reservation each year, am founder and director of Backpacks For Pine Ridge,, and do various volunteer work in my own community. My greatest joy is being a grandma and hanging out with my husband of 30+ years.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Lessons Learned on the Playground

Not sure why I titled the post that way except that it has something to do with the fact that I spent years (literally) in recovery learning about control and surrender and such, but have only begun to apply those lessons as I've gone out and tried to live them out in real life. Somethings you learn in the kindergarden classroom but real change doesn't happen until you're on the playground where you have to live out the principals learned in the classroom.

OK, enough of trying to be wise.

If you want to know how I spent my day yesterday, click here. I spent it trying to revamp our mission trip to the reservation. We've spent most of the past year planning the next trip which will happen in July only to have those plans turned upside down. That's really just par for the course. It happens. And it will happen again. Probably a few more times. Last year we heard "change of plans" more times in a day than I can remember. One time even found the missionary there running out of his trailer with his pants only half way up as he was trying to catch us before we left. (The cement guy had just called to say he was on his way THEN rather than later as we had "planned".)

After talking to the missionary out there Tuesday evening, I discovered that things have to be changed. That in turn, will make the cost of our trip go higher than anticipated. That's a problem that I spent yesterday trying to figure out how to deal with. I finally thought I had it figured out and thought, "God is laughing at me right now becuase I think I have it figured out".

I've come to really enjoy those moments when God pulls the rug out from under us and reminds us of Who is in charge. Those are often the best moments because they are pure God. None of us can see it coming. None of us can get our sticky fingers on it and mess it up. It's just God, pure and simple.

This is my third year leading a mission trip to the reservation and I'm here to tell you that I have not always appreciated God interrupting things. That first year I felt a HUGE responsiblity for the team, the trip, just about everything. And that responsibility felt awfully heavy at times. I'm really not into controlling people but when you feel the weight of responsibility, then you do feel better if you have a sense of control and it would just stress me out to the inth degree to have something like this develop.

But over the past couple of years I have relaxed. A lot. I have a bit more practice at living out what I have known for a long time. Now I love it when God interupts because I just know something really good is about to happen. It doesn't stress me, it excites me. Oh, of course it does take a bit more of my time to refigure things, but that's OK.

Now, I knew all the principals the first year. People would feel the need to tell me "It will all work out", and "God is in control". The thing was, I already knew that. But knowing a thing and living it out are often two very different things. And sometimes the only way to live it out is to go out there and get bumped around on the playground.

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