About Me

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My passion is helping others defend themselves and their families. I am an NRA Certified pistol instructor, a NRA Chief Range Safety Officer, leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - North Cincinnati, and the state leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - Ohio. I also have a heart for the Lakota people and lead mission teams to the Pine Ridge Reservation each year, am founder and director of Backpacks For Pine Ridge,, and do various volunteer work in my own community. My greatest joy is being a grandma and hanging out with my husband of 30+ years.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Wow, It's Weird to Look Back

A friend from another online forum sent this to me via email. I had posted it almost 3 years ago when I was working at a Christian book store.

Date: Saturday, 10 May 2003, at 10:00 p.m.

Driving through a crackling thunder storm on the way to our staff meeting at6:30 this morning, I was feeling sorry for myself. I've been feeling prettydiscouraged and haven't been sleeping well and I resented having to go inearly for a meaningless staff meeting where I would hear information thatwould be completely useless 2 weeks from now when everything will change.

As the meeting began, an interesting thing happened ... God moved into ourstaff meeting and turned the agenda upside down. My boss confessed to notbeing the spiritual leader of the store that he should be. Yes, we're abusiness, but we're also a ministry and he feels a responsiblity to thestaff much like a pastor feels toward his congregation. He confessed that he had let his relationship with God slip ... that he had failed God and us.

Another coworker and his girfriend had a baby 2 weeks ago. Earlier this weekthey discovered the baby had some major health complications. He and his girlfriend lost their first baby 2 years ago and were terrified of losing this one too but they are beginning to see how God worked through the prayers of people who cared about them. Some of the staff had a problem with him serving on staff because of the obvious sin in his life. Now we see that becuase he was loved and accepted in spite of that, he and his girlfriend are beginning to move closer to Jesus. Amazing what grace will do.

We worshiped, singing praise songs and praying together.And I cried. The whole 2 hours. I think everyone cried, but Ididn't/couldn't stop. I've been so discouraged this week with everying seeming like an uphill battle. I know that God did not move the way He did this morning JUST for me ... a lot of us needed what happened this morning... but I believe that He did do it for me too. And that blew me away.

I hate to cry - especially at work, and even more so when I have to work another 8 hours afterward with all my makeup completely destroyed. But itwas good for me to cry ... to be vulnerable ... even at work ... and to go through the rest of the day not caring that I looked like something the cat dragged in.

I am grateful toinght that God can find a way to reveal his care for us inthe most unexpected ways - even at a staff meeting at work - a place I usually associate with stress. Things have not changed. The same old battles await. Even my feelings havenot changed a great deal ... but I am a bit more assured of God's presence and of His love.

Please remember my coworker (the one with hte sick baby) after the staff meeting he went home to discover that his basement had flooded ruining allof his guitars except the one he brought to the staff meeting. (he is a muscian).


Bar Bar A said...

I just read this, how interesting to see where you were "at" 3 years ago. How do you compare where you are now with where you were then?

I'd love an update on the people from this post.

I wasn't surprised to read that you don't like to cry in public but sometimes its just what we seem to need.

Happy Mother's Day!

Amber said...

I've been thinking about your first question and I'm not really sure. I guess I'm not so good at self-alalysis. It a lot of ways I feel like the same person.

An update of some of the people:

The store manager - later was caught stealing several thousand dollars from the store. The company decided not to press charges as long as he paid it all back. He met with my husband a number of times since he had a lot of respect and admiration for my husband and, as far as I know allowed grace to touch him too. I haven't heard from or about him in a long time.

The guy with the new baby - he and his girlfriend got married. The last time I talked to him the baby was doing well and he was still working in retail by day and playing in a worship band at a local church.

The man who went to bat for the guy with the baby when others would have wanted him to be fired - he was an 80 year old man who was quite a character. Definately not your typical 80 year old man. He could be a bit offensive but was so funny you couldn't be offended. He is still not retired but living in Russia and working as a missionary. And he still has my Josh Groban CD which I TOLD him I wanted back. ;)

Ya know, looking back, all this man did was to insist that grace be shown to a coworker but lives were so changed by that simple little act. I wonder how many people really do change lives and don't even realize it.