About Me

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My passion is helping others defend themselves and their families. I am an NRA Certified pistol instructor, a NRA Chief Range Safety Officer, leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - North Cincinnati, and the state leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - Ohio. I also have a heart for the Lakota people and lead mission teams to the Pine Ridge Reservation each year, am founder and director of Backpacks For Pine Ridge,, and do various volunteer work in my own community. My greatest joy is being a grandma and hanging out with my husband of 30+ years.

Monday, June 16, 2008

19TH NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

I'm taking a day off. First one I've had since May something. Brian is out of town for the week and I'm hanging out with a friend today and having a "girl's night in" tonight. I need it. The weekend was challenging.

Friday night we had a 2 1/2 hour meeting about Rezonate. Ugh! It was LONG and GRUELING and I came away completely spent. I had been really pumped up about it but that meeting just took it all out of me. My stress level went through the roof. I've not been that stressed since last Feb. when I relapsed. The guilt was back too. I felt so bad about keeping people at a meeting for that long. Some of those folks have very busy lives and I feel bad for asking them for more of their time. I think the meeting took so long because we had not met for 2 months because of those busy schedules. I suppose you've got to make up that time somehow, but I still feel bad.

Saturday a friend and I went to Dog Fest at VOA Park just to see what a festival there is like. While it was good to see how parking works and see a festival in operation and walk the property I have to say that driving up to the event was one of the scariest sights I've seen in a while. It was HUGE and OVERWHELMING and I told my friend I was going to go home and get into a fetal position and cry and say, "I CAN'T DO THIS". I may do that yet. Just thinking about it makes me nauseous.

So today I'm going to return some emails to bands/radio stations/etc. and then I'm off for the day for some stress relief.

Just taking time to type this post makes me feel guilty too. I have at least two friends who are having a MUCH worse time than I am. One is in the middle of a MAJOR health crisis and another's marriage is falling apart and the pain is so raw you can't help but feel it when you're there.

I've really got nothing to complain about... but I guess that never stopped me before.

3 comments:

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

This is a great place to vent and complain, helps you get it out of your system. We can always find someone around us that is having a worse time or more serious issue, but that doesn't minimize what you're going through! Good for you for taking a day off. DO NOT BUY INTO GUILT. Have some fun with your friend :)

Break out some old Stones :)

Michelle said...

guilt is the good ole devils best tool, I find myself saying all the time so and so has things a lot worse then I do but stress is stress and I;ll pray for your friend I know a thing or two about falling apart marriages....hang in there

hallga77 said...

I guess saying "Help Mr. Wizard, I don't want to be a concert promoter
anymore!" won't work.

Hang in there, sister,

Tim