About Me

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My passion is helping others defend themselves and their families. I am an NRA Certified pistol instructor, a NRA Chief Range Safety Officer, leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - North Cincinnati, and the state leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - Ohio. I also have a heart for the Lakota people and lead mission teams to the Pine Ridge Reservation each year, am founder and director of Backpacks For Pine Ridge,, and do various volunteer work in my own community. My greatest joy is being a grandma and hanging out with my husband of 30+ years.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

The Heroin Diaries

I'm a little sad tonight. I always feel sad when I finish a book and tonight I finished reading The Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx.

Wow, what a read! It sounds somewhat inappropriate to say that I loved it, but, well, I loved it. Yes it has all the shocking stuff that you might expect from reading the diary of a drug addicted rock star. It is not a book for the faint of heart or those easily offended. For me it was just heartbreakingly sad. At times I felt I was sitting there in the closet with him because pain is something that all of us have in common and I could relate all too well to the feelings he expressed. But more than all of that, it is a story of redemption and hope.

As I sit here at my keyboard I don't even know what to say about it. I think my favorite line is one that captures the wisdom of someone who has painstakingly worked a program of recovery and through it has developed a beauty and humility that can only come about through brokenness. He writes,

"Part of me thinks this was all part of a master plan to expose the raw nerve
endings of dysfunction so I could heal. But alcoholics always think
everything is about them, so chances are this is just another character defect I
have to work on."

As I said, I don't even know what to say so blogging about it now is probably not a great idea. Maybe at some point in the future I'll be able to write more intelligently about it. There is a soundtrack by Sixx A.M. that goes along with the book as well. I've listened to it non-stop for the past few weeks and have found it to be a great source of encouragement as I deal with some issues in my own recovery.

A portion of the proceeds of the book go to Running Wild in the Night, a fundraising initiative for Covenant House a ministry to homeless teens.

"From A Needle, To A Pen, To A Musical Note, To A Cause" - Nikki Sixx


Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Amber, what scares me is that I wrote almost word for word what you did after I finished this book last year. Do you feel like you know Nikki? Like you could give him a hug if you saw him walking down the street because of a sincere connection even though we live in totally different worlds. The guy is a brilliant writer (not so great at bass but who cares he looks good playing it). I LOVED this book. It was very hard to read in parts, just seeing the cover here on your blog brought back lots of emotion.

I had to hide it in my car one day in fear a friend would pick it up and read about _________ well any number of things. The sad thing is someone may look only at him having sex with tons of women after a show, or shooting heroin and disregard the rest.

I am going to try to find what I wrote and show it to you, great minds think a like ;)

Amber said...

Hey Barbara

That doesn't surprise me that we both felt the same after reading it. I don't know if I feel like I know Nikki or not but he's someone who would be cool to know because there is just ... well ... I can't really put my finger on it. Wisdom is the only word that comes to mind but that's not entirely it either. I could realte to a lot of his feelings and thoughts and felt a connection to him in that way. I want to read the book again. I don't know. I just have so much respect and admiration for him. It cracked me up what he wrote about Gene Simmons.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Dang, I couldn't find my review of the book but I found the review of the CD:

I think I mentioned recently that I read Nikki Sixx's book, The Heroin Diaries. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to stare into the ugly face of addiction. It's not for the easily offended.

I admire Nikki for coming back from "death" and making his life something meaningful. The soundtrack to this book is interesting. I haven't listened to it all yet, but there's some intensely emotional lyrics. As someone who's familiar with addiction, traumatic childhood issues and serious depression - I can appreciate it very much. These songs are like a purging of his emotions, very raw, compelling. I can't stop listening to it, even though its disturbing...He reads portions of the book.

Note to fathers: You matter so much to your kids, don't ever underestimate how important it is for you to be involved in your kids lives.

The proceeds to this CD and his book go to Covenant House - an org. that helps street kids.