It took me years, a life-threatening disease, and massive recovery effort, but I finally "got it" about the need for boundaries.
Boundaries are essential to a healthy life. They are NOT walls to keep people out, they merely define what is yours and what is mine so it is clear what is your responsibility and what is my responsibility. They make life saner. They make life more peaceful. They are a lot like a fence around your yard to define where my responibilty begins and ends. I get that. There is a lot of freedom in understanding that. And I've gotten pretty good at establishing and enforcing healthy boundaries ... BUT, I have a question.
OK, so to use an analogy ... say my neighbor's garbage keeps getting into my yard. Its their garbage, not mine. However, I might choose to just throw it away, but if it becomes a habit, say they get the idea that they can just throw their stuff in my yard and I'll deal with it so they don't have to, then I need to push their garbage back into their yard for them to deal with, right? Right. I'm cool with that.
BUT ... I still live in the neighborhood. I still have to witness the chaos in their yard. SO.... how do I deal with that without going crazy??