About Me

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My passion is helping others defend themselves and their families. I am an NRA Certified pistol instructor, a NRA Chief Range Safety Officer, leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - North Cincinnati, and the state leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - Ohio. I also have a heart for the Lakota people and lead mission teams to the Pine Ridge Reservation each year, am founder and director of Backpacks For Pine Ridge,, and do various volunteer work in my own community. My greatest joy is being a grandma and hanging out with my husband of 30+ years.

Monday, October 12, 2009

I Dare Ya!

Barbara had this interesting post titled "What Do You Want to do Before You Die" on her blog yesterday. The link she provided is pretty interesting. I've been asked this same question or some form of it a few times recently - probably because I went skydiving. :] But ya know, I don't really have a "bucket list" so to speak. And no, I'm not in a mid-life crisis. I may be in mid-life but I'm not finding it to be a crisis at all. I'm not just "conquering fears" fears either although that has been a part of it.

Let me explain...

I kinda feel like you've got to die before you can live. And I feel like the old me died a while back and I'm just beginning to really live my life. Before fear of what people would think about me pretty much determined what I did or didn't do. Through the recovery process I learned that this is MY life and that I and I alone am responsible for it. What other people think about me is really none of my business. I will answer to God for the way I've spent my time here and they'll answer for theirs.

See, its not the "death-defying" acts like skydiving that require great courage and faith, its the daily task of getting out of bed and facing the day that takes guts. I no longer have to starve myself to death to conform to someone's opinion of what I should look like. And I no longer behave in ways that conform to someone else's idea of how I should behave. In a word, I'm FREE.

Life took a new and exciting turn back then. Life has never been better. Seriously, I could write a book about all the crazy things that have happened since I started living. Shake off all the man-made restraints and follow God and you'll be amazed at who and what crosses your path. Try it. I dare ya!

*For the record, I am afraid of heights but skydiving is not as much about heights as you might think. With no point of reference you don't have the sensation of being up high. I was just as afraid of leading my first group to the Rez as I was jumping out of a plane on Saturday. Really. The level of fear was exactly the same. Both things still scare me but hey, its just fear.


Barbara(aka Layla) said...

I LOVE what you said:

"Before fear of what people would think about me pretty much determined what I did or didn't do"

This is where I am finally getting in my life and yes, it does feel like life is better when I follow God and my own heart/mind.

Before I die I would like to experience a healthy, happy marriage.

Kansas Bob said...

In truth.. I hate the question.. I have done about everything that I have ever wanted to do with my life.. some of it not very well.

Ann and I always planned to travel the world when we retired.. now we are lucky to make it out of Kansas. We are hoping that Ann will be healthy after her winter chemo treatments and be able to travel to someplace warm for a month or so.. guess you gotta have hope :)

Regi said...

you went sky diving!!! isn't it the best fun. I went 4 yrs ago ad LOVED it.

Amber said...

Barbara - I hope you get to experience a healthy, happy marriage too.

Bob - I'm praying that Ann will feel better and you'll get to travel. My dad is hoping to go to Fla in January. I hope he gets too as well. Chemo is just nasty stuff but I suppose its good we have it.

Regi - Welcome back to blogging! YES, I LOVED skydiving. I've gotta do it again. Maybe a lot more times. The smile is still plastered on my face.