About Me

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My passion is helping others defend themselves and their families. I am an NRA Certified pistol instructor, a NRA Chief Range Safety Officer, leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - North Cincinnati, and the state leader of TWAW Shooting Chapters - Ohio. I also have a heart for the Lakota people and lead mission teams to the Pine Ridge Reservation each year, am founder and director of Backpacks For Pine Ridge,, and do various volunteer work in my own community. My greatest joy is being a grandma and hanging out with my husband of 30+ years.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Honor or Dishonor

Did you see the headlines about the Iraqi man who purposely ran down his daughter with a Jeep Cherokee because she was too "Westernized"? He tried to flee to Britain but was returned to the U.S. where he was taken into custody. His daughter meanwhile was hospitalized in serious condition and later died from her injuries. What a crazy world.

I'm not sure if this is an Islamic thing or not, but I am sure as in any religion, that there are those in Islam that would condemn this action and those who would defend it. Every religion, including Christianity has its share of nut balls who take things to the extreme.

Unbelievably the dad, now facing charges in his daughter's death, defends his actions. "By his own admission, this was an intentional act, and the reason was that his daughter had brought shame on him and his family," the prosecutor said. "This was an attempt at an honor killing."

This story is disturbing on so many levels. Let's leave the obvious one for a little later and look at a few others. I've got to wonder .... how is it that this man can come to America and "dishonor" our laws by assaulting and killing his adult daughter because she chose to live her life differently than he would have liked? This is America! We value freedom here. How "honorable" can it possibly be to act in ways that dishonor the laws of a country in the name of an "honor killing"? See the absurdity of it. It looks ludicrous even in print.

It also strikes me that the dad's reasoning completely left out his God. His reason for killing her was that "she was bringing shame on him and his family". What about what his God wanted??

I wonder if people will maybe take Rifqa Bary a little more seriously now? Remember her? She was the 17 year old girl who converted to Christianity and then fled to Florida because she was convinced that her Muslim father would be forced to kill her for dishonoring the family. Whether he would or not, who knows but she was convinced.

These stories are obviously disturbing because for most of us killing our children for any reason is unthinkable. Most of us spend our lives protecting our children (or trying to) and live with the fear that something bad will happen to them. So yes, to most of us these stories are simply hideous.

But I've got to wonder .... is there not a deeper issue at work here? In short, are we all that different when it comes to wanting to control the choices our children make? Think about it - how many times have you heard cruel and harmful things spoken to a kid because they weren't living up to someones expectations? Never mind that the thing we are really worried about is us and not them. We don't want our children's behavior to reflect badly on us, do we? In truth, its our own behavior that reflects what we're really made of - not our kid's.

And so in the name of defending and honoring our values we do the most dishonorable thing and murder a soul. And well, I've gotta believe that dishonors our God, who is the author of free will, in a big way too.

If you think this is a stretch, maybe it is, but I challenge you - next time your child does something you don't approve of, listen to what comes out of your mouth and see how it would feel if those words were said to you.


Michelle said...

I love you! I can not tell you how many times I've asked a lot of those same questions. As you know I have a mother that turns her feelings on and off depending on whether you are living up to her expectations so I strive everyday to love my bunch regardless and to protect them from people who don't do the same.

Kansas Bob said...

I remember my son telling me that I was all about "honor" and I sometimes acted life Worf on Star Trek. Took me a long time to understand that parents should never use shame masquerading as honor to control their children.. it is damaging and just doesn't work.

Fundamentalism of all flavors leads folks to dark places. Mix it with a desire to have a good religious image and the results can be very damaging to others.