If you work anywhere in the vicinity of other people you will eventually run into a "problem person". You know the one's I'm talking about. They make life miserable for everyone else. It may be your coworker or your neighbor or (hopefully not), your spouse.
I don't know about your experiences, but I do know about mine so that's what I'll talk about here and maybe, something here will help you too?? Or maybe not. As they say in AA, take what works and leave the rest.
My most aggravating experiences with PPs have been on mission trips. Imagine that! These PPs have come in many flavors ... sometimes they are just lazy and don't want to pull their share of the work. Sometimes they think they know better what we should be doing and how to do it than the folks who have been there for years. Or maybe they just whine and fuss and throw little hissy fits because things aren't going the way they their way.
When I was new at this, these people bugged me. A lot. I had no idea how to handle them and it would stress me out and caused me to wonder why in the world I do what I do - because I don't really have to put myself through the torture of it all. I choose to do it because its the right thing to do and because I have the time to do it, and because I care. But I don't have to do it. I could just as easily choose not to do it and leave the headache to someone else. And ya know what? I would really be OK with that. Leadership is not a perk folks, its a pain in the backside a lot of the time... ok, all the time.
Truth be known, PPs still bug me. A lot. And they still stress me out ... but not as much as they used to. I've learned something that I think is a good way to deal with them - give them some rope. That's right. Let them go do their thing and show everybody what a butt they are, because you know what? People do know. So a lot of the time if you just give 'em enough rope they'll hang themselves.
Now sometimes some PPs will go a step further. Sometimes they see it as their God-given mission to let the world know how horrible the situation is - or how horrible you are. In those situations you've got to have really, REALLY... REALLY... FIRM... boundaries. And you've got to realize that you do not have to fight these people. Oh its tempting. Its tempting to get on their level and start doing likewise. Its tempting to let everyone know that they are just hearing part of a story and not the whole story. Its tempting to defend yourself and its tempting to defend your ministry. But if you do that you will look like as much of a butt as they are because people in general are really pretty much aware. People are quick to get someone's number. So again - let 'em go. Yeah, some people will sympathize with them and maybe even some people will believe them. It's OK ... they'll find out soon enough.
Its not your ministry to defend anyway.